Ted the Emo Fish
by Rydrake Kyuubi
Summary: Let's put it this way: it's crazy, cooky, and awesomely random.


Ted the Emo Angel Fish

A short story by Rydrake Kyuubi

In a tropical ocean not too far away, in a coral reef not too deep, lived an ordinary Angel Fish well known for his outrageous colors. This fish thought he'd had a fairly good life; no more than eating a swimming, and fleeing from occasional sharks. But one night, everything changed for this fish. As he was relaxing in his home, it suddenly begins to shake violently, water draining out of every hole. With nothing but pure instincts kicking in, he follows the water out before he was brought to the surface. There was a boat, and a fish's worst enemy besides other carnivorous fish: Divers. A diver had just taken his home, still covered in a couple algae suckers. It's put into a small glass box and taken back to the boat. Before more divers could jump in, he goes to warn his society, but it's already too late. With not much else to do, he swims away before he is next.

The next morning, our tiny hero had grown tired and lodged himself in a bed of seaweed to rest. Suddenly, a barrel is dropped on top of it, spewing out strange green goo. Before he knew it, he thought he had instantly died, but instead he had mutated…slightly. He grew to the size of a Bass, and grown hair on his head/back. His colors had changed as well, going from copper with mint green stripes to a compilation of colors. His body was mostly red with a tinted underbelly (looking pink), the web part of his tail being the same tinted pink color. His bottom fin took on a blue tint with a lavender spiky line in the middle. The top fin was the same blue; only the spiky line was a light copper. His eyes are now a forest green with what looked like two emo tear lines coming off of each eye and stopping at the underbelly color, with the tear lines being a black color (similar to Ulquiorra from _BLEACH_ but thicker). His hair was made up of two colors; the top being blonde and the bottom being black.

He quickly swims out of the goo, but realizes too late that he was heading into the mouth of a Humpback Whale trying to eat krill. He's sucked in. Now in the whale's mouth, annoyed at the fact he is probably going to die this way, he lies on the tongue, holding his head up with his skinny fins, trying to figure out how he could possibly survive this. That is until the whale begins to swallow. Just then, the whale spits him out via blowhole into the air. The fish looks down, now having spontaneously learned the human language groans, "Shit." He falls and lands back into the water, being quickly hit by the whale's tail and is flung into a different coral bed headfirst. Our hero is now stuck.

"Just great. First my home is destroyed, then I'm eaten by a whale, spit out, flung by it, and now I'm here. And why the hell do I sound like Sasuke Uchiha? Is this my creator's sick way of a joke?" He then hears a growl. He tries to see what it is, and bright yellow eyes begin to glow. The eyes charge at him and push him out. He straightens himself out and finds it's an electric eel. It hisses. "Um, okay, sorry I got stuck in your entrance."

"What are you doing here, Angel Fish?"

"Huh?"

"Hey, you were just in that whale, were you not?"

"Unfortunately, yes."

"Let me ask you something."

"What?"

"…"

"…"

"Do you think that it's strange that you're an emo landing in my lair?"

"Nani?"

"Think about it. You sound like an emo from a ninja series, and I'm an eel. Don't you think it's a bit strange?"

"Are you trying to tell me we're a play on certain characters from a certain anime series?"

"Yes."

"I hate our creator."

"Ditto."

"Anyway, have you seen a boat? My home just got destroyed by man."

"Can't say I have, but that's the least of your worries."

"Is there something behind me?"

"Um, kinda. What the hell is that thing?"

Our hero looks behind him and finds it's…"DR. OCTOGONAPUS! BWAAAAGHHH!" A laser is fired at the two almost instantly. The eel quickly saves the fish and dashes elsewhere…into a strange coral cave. The eel lets go of our hero. As our hero tries to regain his breath he shouts, "WHAT THE F*CK WAS THAT?!"

"That was Dr. Octogonapus."

"Dr. What?"

"It comes from a strange thing called Shoop da Whoop or something."

"What the hell is that?"

"Not a clue. I just happened to catch a glimpse of it from a diver's water proof tv thingy."

"…"

"Anyway, do you got a name or not?"

"…no."

"Oh. Then I'm calling you Ted!"

"Ted? That's a hu—"

"Ted it is. My name's Stinger."

"…"

"C'mon Ted, there's one more creature we need to take with us to defeat the real issue at hand."

"Real issue?"

"Yes. Just recently a pack of three humans built an underwater home near here. I tried getting rid of them, and this scar became my reward."

"Ouch."

"Now come."

"Where are we going?"

"We're off to see the Wizard, the wonderful wizard of Oz!"

"What the? Okay Rule Number One: no more hanging around humans, and Rule Number Two: NO SINGING!"

"You're cold Ted."

"STOP CALLING ME THAT!"

So Stinger leads Ted into the depths of the ocean.

An hour later, Stinger used what energy he had to create a light so Ted could see him and not get tricked by a hungry Angler Fish. "So Stinger, what kind of creature are we looking for?" Ted asks trying to keep up. "We're looking for one of the most energetic aquatic around. He annoys the hell out of everyone, yet he means well." Stinger replies. Ted grew wary of this. Soon they came upon a glowing batch of seaweed. "Yo, Metroid, you awake or staring off into space again?" Stinger calls. "Huh? No I'm awake. Hold on, I'm a bit tangled at the moment." Metroid replies. "{Augh, you gotta be kidding me. A play on Naruto himself? This story has no freakin' build whatsoever.}" Ted thinks, insulting his creator. Soon, Metroid frees himself and appears out of the seaweed. And much to Ted's surprise, "…Metroid's a f*cking lobster?! How can something like that even survive at these depths?" "Well look at us. We're not even meant to be this far down." Stinger says. "Stinger, HOW COME YOU AND METROID HAVE THE COOLER NAMES AND I HAVE SOMETHING PLAIN AND STUPID?!" Ted shouts. "Haha, you just called yourself stupid." Metroid giggles. "Gauh, I hate my life." Ted says throwing his fin over his eyes. "So are we off to see the Wizard, Stinger?" Metroid asks. "If you sing again, I'm having this Angler eat you." Ted says holding an Angler Fish by the light.

A little while later, the three come upon the house, which is more like a bubble. "So, how are we supposed to get in, exactly? There's obviously nothing but air in there." Ted asks. "Last time I got in through the toilet." Stinger recalls. Ted gives him a disgusted look and demands, "We are not going in through the toilet!"

30 minutes later…

"I can't believe we just weaseled our way into the toilet bowl." Ted says. "Okay men, this is it. We need to come up with a way to scare the humans out of this place." Stinger says. "Oh oh, I know, I know! Let's find a baggie, fill it with water, and roll our way into the house!" Metroid says. "…Or we could easily force this thing to flood itself. I'm freezing my tail off in here." Ted says. "Ah, even better! I got this one!" Metroid says. First, Stinger forces the lid open and helps Metroid out. Next, Metroid forces the cover off the tank and climbs in. Finally, he starts forcing the toilet to flush again and again while Stinger and Ted flip out of the bowl. The toilet starts to flood, showing no sign of stopping. As minuets pass, it starts filling up the bathroom. When Ted saw it was over the tub, he rushes over and gets the hot water going. Stinger and Metroid look at him confused. "Uh hello, I'm an **Angel** Fish; I'm tropical!" Ted says. "You're emo." Metroid says. Soon, the door bursts open, all three flooding out with it. The humans are startled and rush for higher ground on their chairs.

"Okay…part two…ATTACK!" Stinger says, still flopping on the not so flooded rug. With Metroid being the only one able to stand oxygen, he rushes over and starts attacking with his pinchers, scoring in some hits. Stinger and Ted continue to flop around, back into the bathroom and into the tub. But then, Ted and Stinger jump out and fall in like crazy because now the water's steaming hot. So it was back in the toilet bowl. "This is embarrassing." Ted sulks, floating belly up.

"It's going to get better! Look, Dolphins! And…not him again!"

"DR. OCTOGONAPUS!! BWAAAAGHHHH!!!"

The odd creature creates a hole on the bubble, forcing water in. Now it was Stinger and Ted's turn to attack with the aide of some dolphins. They start shouting, "You'll pay for ruining our birthing area!" "Birthing Area? Ewww!! Sick!" Ted says. "ATTACK!" Stinger shouts aiding Metroid who had been smacked by a broom too many times. Ted rushes in ad does what a fish does best…Bitch Slapping.

That afternoon, the humans had retreated to the surface. The bubble was destroyed and the dolphins were happy again. Back at Stinger's lair, our heroes rested. "So I don't understand. How is this supposed to benefit me?" Ted asks. "Don't you feel better for getting rid of those humans once and for all?" Metroid asks. "Well, I guess. But what about my home?" Ted replies. "Ted, there's nothing we can do. You'll just have to fid a new coral to live in." Stinger says. "Well hold on, don't you have a vacant home below yours?" Metroid asks. "I CALL DIBS!" Ted says rushing into it. "IT'S PERFECT!" he calls. "Looks like you have a new neighbor, Stinger." Metroid says. "Yeah, guess so. *sigh* So long quiet days." Stinger says.

And so, the story of Ted the Emo Angel Fish draws to a close.

**Ted:** Wait, that's it? I work my ass off for that crappy ending?!

**Metroid:** Ted be quiet! Our creator can kill you! She has the power!

**Ted:** I WANT A BETTER ENDING FIRST!

**Rydrake:** So you want a better ending, Ted?

**Ted:** YES!

**Rydrake:** *opens box*

**Dr. O:** DR. OCTOGONAPUS! BWAAAAAGHHHH!!!!!


End file.
